我爱你,爱到愿为了你去学数学

文/六神磊磊

如果你问金庸:一个女人,爱一个人最深会是什么样子?

为他当煮饭婆?

给他生猴子?

都不是的。答案有可能是:为了他去学数学。

那一年,刘瑛姑想去救一个人。

你要是看过《射雕》,大概就能猜到,这个人就是周伯通。

他被关在全天下最难逃跑的监狱——桃花岛上,还有一个全天下最厉害的看守——黄药师。

这里有可怕的阵法,可能是叫十里桃花阵之类,不懂奇门五行、高深术算的人进去,三生三世都跑不出来。

更让人寒心的是,没有人去救周伯通。

平时大家都爱和他开玩笑,好像很亲热。可是他出了事,居然没有人救。

他的师侄丘处机,是江湖上著名的包打听、最喜欢管闲事的,却不见去救他。他的门派全真教,号称是市值最大的上市公司,员工学徒遍布天下,也不见派人手去打听他的下落。

对他们来说,疯疯癫癫的周伯通,是多一个不多、少一个不少的,没有人关心。

只有一个女人例外——刘瑛姑。

其它人听说周伯通的遭遇,最多是立刻发一封电报:向桃花岛提出严正抗议。

只有刘瑛姑听见后,什么也没说,而是立刻去雇了一艘船。

“船家,给我向东开。”

她的第一次救人行动,惨败而归。

黄药师的十里桃花大阵,变幻莫测,百转千回,刘瑛姑武功本来就苦不甚高,又不懂算术,被困住了。

对于这一段,金庸只淡淡地写了一句话:

“别说救人,连自己也陷了三日三夜,险些饿死。”

难以想象,那是多么绝望的三天三夜。一个女性,孤立无援,水米断绝,在漆黑的夜里,海风卷着滂沱大雨浇下来,连躲的地方都没有,弄不好就这样悄无声息地死掉了。

幸运的是,黄药师那几天大概心情好,不想杀人,让仆人把她放走了。

归去的小船乘着东风,一直向西,离周伯通越来越远。她痛哭失声。换了任何一个人,这一场哭过以后,可能都要放弃了。

但刘瑛姑不是。她抹干泪水,上岸之后,去找来了一本书。

是《走出悲伤》?《如何忘记一个男人》?还是《女人就要懂放手》?

都错了。是《高等数学入门》。

金庸这个人,越是惊心动魄的事情,他越是一笔带过,写得好像随随便便,云淡风轻:

“她于是隐居黑沼,潜心修习术数之学。”

就好像一句歌词:

满身风雨,我从海上来,才隐居在这沙漠里。

这一学,就是十五年。

五千多个日夜,她每天玩命钻研,身边只有枯燥的方程和图形陪伴。

杨过等待小龙女,也不过是十六年,而且等得轰轰烈烈,尽人皆知,到后面几乎等成了真人秀直播,还有了粉丝团、啦啦队。

而刘瑛姑每日每夜的用功,悄无声息,几乎没有人知道。

在梦里,她大概重返了无数次桃花岛吧。

后来,也不知道从什么时候起,她在江湖上得了一个外号,我觉得这是金庸小说里,最让人唏嘘、最让人感伤的外号——“神算子”。

谁想当神算子啊?谁爱当神算子啊?

我刘瑛姑研究这些,只是为了有一天,能从容地出现在他面前,也许还说上一句:让你久等了。

十五年后,偶然地,一个不速之客——小女孩黄蓉闯进了瑛姑的家,推开了她的门。

小黄蓉看见了这样一副情景:

“地下蹲着一个头发花白的女子,身披麻衫,凝目瞧着地下一根根的无数竹片,显然正自潜心思索。”

头发已经花白了,而且注意,是“蹲着”的。十多年,她就这么蹲过来的。

地上摆着的无数竹片,都是她做的数学题:

“……那些算子排成商、实、法、借算四行,暗点算子数目,知她正在计算五万五千二百二十五的平方根。”

黄蓉还看见,她家的外屋、内室,也到处都是数学题:

“内室……地下满铺细沙,沙上画着许多横直符号和圆圈,又写着些 ‘太’、  ‘天元’、  ‘地元’、 ‘人元’、 ‘物元’等字……”

金庸其实在告诉我们:十五年里的每一天,她都是这么过的。

黄蓉当时看了想笑,觉得刘瑛姑太轴、太死脑筋。

其实啊,小黄蓉,不懂的是你。有的事,你现下还不明白。

很多年之后,她终于和他见面了,一起隐居百花谷。

刘瑛姑讲了自己苦学数学的事吗?没有。

她向周伯通倾诉过,这千百个日夜里,自己是多么勤奋、多么刻苦吗?估计也没有。人家瑛姑也不图这个。

她想要的,不过是出现在他面前,说几个轻描淡写的字:让你久等了。

我出现在你面前的时候,好像很轻松,是个偶然。但你不知道,之前那么久,我为了这偶然的出现,都做了些什么。

以前讲过,感情这个东西,不能完全用时间检验的。甚至你只爱了一秒,那也是爱。

但是反过来,足够的时间,真的可以证明感情。

未经允许不得转载:守心斋 » 我爱你,爱到愿为了你去学数学

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